Cancer Can Be a Glass Half Full!
Cancer Can Be a Glass Half Full!
Some of our Blog readers, have attended AnCan’s Speaking Freely virtual group. That’s our men-only meeting that talks about everything and anything EXCEPT treatment. It’s open to all men living with a chronic condition and provides a great opportunity twice a month to get things off your chest and to air issues where another perspective may help. Like all our meetings, it’s free and drop in on the 1st and 3rd Thursday of each month starting at 8.00 pm Eastern in our AnCan Barniskis Room.
December’s second meeting of the month hosted a newbie to Speaking Freely but not to our AnCan Groups. Alan Babcock has been attending our prostate cancer groups for a while; he was finally able to vacate his schedule to make a Speaking Freely group. Alan recently retired from a hugely meaningful and rewarding career where he supervised Disability Services for students at Penn State – Go Nittany Lions!! Over the years, his team enabled thousands of disabled students to graduate .
In the course of the SF group conversation, we spoke about how cancer has impacted our lives – positively and negatively. When Alan mentioned he’d be keeping track of all the gifts received from his prostate cancer experience, we immediately asked for a copy – and here it is.Thanks for sharing your vulnerabilities, Alan and for allowing others to learn and benefit! (Editor: We’ve chosen to put Prostate in parenthesis, because for the large part, we think this applies to most all cancers!! )
Gifts of (Prostate) Cancer
1. I experienced a flood of love and good wishes from family, friends, and colleagues.
2. I returned to therapy, and I deepened my self-understanding.
3. I had the opportunity to confront my mortality, which taught me to think about decisions I make day-to-day.
4. I saw my wife do battle with the medical establishment on my behalf and win.
5. My love for my wife deepened as we confronted a life crisis.
6. I watch myself travel from despair to acceptance. Once again, demonstrating my resilience to myself.
7. I was given the opportunity to learn how to love my wife in new ways.
8. For about the hundreth time, I saw my wife was a tower of strength, and I learned once again that she would always be there for me.
9. I felt my wife’s unconditional love as she held me while I cried for all of my losses.
10. I experienced what it was like to have somebody pray for me.
11. I took control of my well-being by firing my first urologist and finding better care elsewhere, which was empowering.
12. I talked to other men who had prostatectomies about highly personal subjects.
13. I started to learn how to engage in Mindfulness rather than just talking about it.
14. I experienced a high school friend showing how much he cared by not only investigating where I received treatment, but also the physician who was going to perform the prostatectomy.
15. My brother-in-law showed how much he cared by arranging a consultation with a physician at the Dana-Farber Cancer Center.
16. A professor, who I did not know well, gave me her telephone number, and told me to call any time day or night.
17. I learned what was helpful and what was unhelpful when someone was facing a life crisis.
18. I joined a support group, in which I learn much about prostate cancer and in which I receive support.
19. I am learning to accept my limitations.
20. I have helped other men, which has been rewarding
