We have some wonderful thoughts once again from our Board Chair, moderator, and most important, our dear friend Peter Kafka. On the week that we spend reflecting on what we are grateful for, Peter has story that will offer perspective on thankfulness. We are so thankful for YOU, Peter! Aloha.
As hospitalizations for Covid-19 surge across the nation and opportunities for visitation at hospitals close down, the subject of “closure” comes up more often. I recently had an experience which brought this matter up in a new light that I thought worth sharing. A week ago, a good friend passed away as a result of recurrent colorectal cancer. He had exhausted all treatment options available to him and was under hospice care at home with his devoted wife of many years providing the major care and support. He remained lucid and at rest until the end.
This couple had a large network of family and friends around N. America and world-wide. One close friend took it upon herself to arrange for a Zoom conference meeting the weekend before the departure. Many of this man’s friends and relatives were present on this Zoom call including his wife who was within ear-shot and sight of her husband who could hear the conversation.
This was something of a transformative event for me and all involved because it gave us opportunity to say goodbye, to tell poignant stories, and reflect on the precious value of our individual friendships with this gentleman in real time while he could still receive our thoughts and wishes. The timing was perfect and there was a good measure of closure for all involved.
Usually our culture dictates that some form of closure be recreated in a ceremony or service after one departs. But these days even this opportunity is limited or non-existent because of the strict rules regarding gatherings and the dangers of travel. I have always thought that thankfulness was and should be primarily an anticipatory act rather than something expressed after the fact. I would suggest that in this holiday season of seeming isolation that we find ways to express THANKS for/ to what IS as well as what was.