Some of you already know one of the most remarkable members of our Advisory Board, palliative care doc,  B.J.Miller. If you don’t, then listen to his TED Talk along with 10.5 million others!!! We are all getting ample Covid19 e-mail …. but if you got a missive directly from Bill Gates, I bet you’d read it. 

Well today I received an e-mail from my buddy, B.J.s institute, The Center for Living and Dying. It contained his thoughts on the surreal crisis we all find ourselves in  – and for me it truly struck a chord. To put it in my Marxian (Brothers) terms … are you a man or a mouse??? Read B.J”s thoughts and reflect – btw, it was mailed off-center .. and personally I think that is just perfect!!

And in case you didn’t get my allegory, Bj’s thoughts fall into the same category as Bill Gates – at least for me! (rd)

 

dear folks,

here we are, struggling and about to struggle more. i hesitate to add to the pile of missives flying around the ether, but i do want to shout hello and maybe sound a subtler note with a few reminders. 

remember that, if we are in-tune and honest with ourselves, every one of us already knows vulnerability.  we may have hidden it away or covered it over with self-assuredness or fortune, etcetera, but underneath our colorful coats has always been a sensitive, naked, tender, affectable critter. anyone who’s been ill or injured or disabled, loves someone who has, or is simply a sensitive soul, knows this feeling well where nothing may be taken for granted.  the ground beneath us has never been as solid as we like to think it is.  in other words, on some base level, we are not in wholly foreign terrain.but this time, our covers are being pulled collectively and simultaneously.  that may be terrifying, and it’s also cause for hope.  us versus them doesn’t make sense anymore, if it ever did.  now, finally, we get to share the big common reality out in the open. we may be removed from one another, but we have never been less alone.

our humanity is being summoned, which means we will be seeing our real power. it’s soft and immense and adaptive and willing to get messy.  we will also see ugliness and selfishness, in ourselves and others, but I bet the farm our gnarls will be overwhelmed by our beauty.  though the cost will be hard to bear, we are about to learn so much.  it’s a matter of survival now, not in the abstract, and that’s when we humans get serious and come together.

we are all being reacquainted with life’s basics and the awesome power of nature, including human nature.  this goes for ourselves as well as for the systems we’ve invented – healthcare, government, economic.  all are being tested now, and so all have a shot at evolving.

it’s also worth reminding each other that “social distancing” – usually a problem and now the solution – only pertains to physical isolation.  we can still love each other.  we must.  we can still communicate over the airwaves.  we can still mean well by each other.  however you do it, keep ‘touch’ alive.  losing touch can result in losing empathy, and that would be one sure way to make a bad situation worse. instead, let the longing build; it will help stave off loneliness and nihilism, and it will keep us feeling.  those of us who have experienced compassion, whether coming from us or towards us, know that it’s always there.  it just needs to be called-up and exercised.  it needs an excuse to show itself, and suffering provides that excuse. one day, we’ll be able to directly share all that affection again, and you can bet it will be with heightened appreciation and passion.

from years of working with people who are dealing with the unimaginables of life, i can safely state that people are stronger than they tend to realize. we are. maybe it’s more accurate to say we are differently strong from the conventional, muscle-bound notions of strength. this bigger and suppler sleepy inner strength just needs a reason to flex. and here we are.

in love and grief and solidarity, XOb