After sending out a reminder today for the virtual group I co-moderate that cited Ken Anderson’s inspiration, Peter Kafka followed up a few hours later with more inspiration for his own group reminder…..
The one obvious commonality of all prostate cancer patients is that we are all males/men. Beyond that it is hard to generalize about us but in my work with men in our situation I have observed a few tendencies and perhaps it is best to speak of my own experience and see if it connects with some of you.
Last winter the roof on my home failed due to the inordinate amount of rain. I hired a roofer/contractor who ended up being something of a deadbeat. I ended up picking up quite a bit of the slack which involved hauling away all the spent asphalt shingles in my 20-year old pickup truck to the landfill. Since our last meeting on July 8th I have loaded my truck some 9 or 10 times with heavy shingles and then unloaded the same at the dump. My son helped out when he could after work, but I pretty much took this on as my project.
For most of this week my body suffered from the extra exertion of this exercise. I know that I have a tendency to “push” myself to my physical limits, more so when there is a job to be done than at the gym. Is this a good trait or a bad trait? I don’t know, but it is not an uncommon trait amongst men. When I was a young boy working with and for my dad and often carrying heavy loads on my back, I remember some of the women in the plant telling me to “save my back”. I always wondered what I would be saving it for. In reflection, I think that the exercise and “pushing” I did as a young boy probably had a lot to do with gifting me with a strong back to this day.
If you are like me, none of us are going to “give up” due to this speed bump in the road called prostate cancer. Yes, it can slow me down a bit and sometimes cause me to make some radical adjustments in my life course, but it is not going to stop me. Is this the voice of arrogance or defiance speaking, or is it just a voice of common sense? We all know our limits, we are all smart enough to ask for help when needed but most importantly, we have a job to finish.