Some of our Blog readers, have attended AnCan’s Speaking Freely virtual group. That’s our men-only meeting that talks about everything and anything EXCEPT treatment. It’s open to all men living with a chronic condition and provides a great opportunity twice a month to get things off your chest and to air issues where another perspective may help. Like all our meetings, it’s free and drop in on the 1st and 3rd Thursday of each month starting at 8.00 pm Eastern in our AnCan Barniskis Room.
December’s second meeting of the month hosted a newbie to Speaking Freely but not to our AnCan Groups. Alan Babcock has been attending our prostate cancer groups for a while; he was finally able to vacate his schedule to make a Speaking Freely group. Alan recently retired from a hugely meaningful and rewarding career where he supervised Disability Services for students at Penn State – Go Nittany Lions!! Over the years, his team enabled thousands of disabled students to graduate .
In the course of the SF group conversation, we spoke about how cancer has impacted our lives – positively and negatively. When Alan mentioned he’d be keeping track of all the gifts received from his prostate cancer experience, we immediately asked for a copy – and here it is.Thanks for sharing your vulnerabilities, Alan and for allowing others to learn and benefit! (Editor: We’ve chosen to put Prostate in parenthesis, because for the large part, we think this applies to most all cancers!! )
Gifts of (Prostate) Cancer
1. I experienced a flood of love and good wishes from family, friends, and colleagues.
2. I returned to therapy, and I deepened my self-understanding.
3. I had the opportunity to confront my mortality, which taught me to think about decisions I make day-to-day.
4. I saw my wife do battle with the medical establishment on my behalf and win.
5. My love for my wife deepened as we confronted a life crisis.
6. I watch myself travel from despair to acceptance. Once again, demonstrating my resilience to myself.
7. I was given the opportunity to learn how to love my wife in new ways.
8. For about the hundreth time, I saw my wife was a tower of strength, and I learned once again that she would always be there for me.
9. I felt my wife’s unconditional love as she held me while I cried for all of my losses.
10. I experienced what it was like to have somebody pray for me.
11. I took control of my well-being by firing my first urologist and finding better care elsewhere, which was empowering.
12. I talked to other men who had prostatectomies about highly personal subjects.
13. I started to learn how to engage in Mindfulness rather than just talking about it.
14. I experienced a high school friend showing how much he cared by not only investigating where I received treatment, but also the physician who was going to perform the prostatectomy.
15. My brother-in-law showed how much he cared by arranging a consultation with a physician at the Dana-Farber Cancer Center.
16. A professor, who I did not know well, gave me her telephone number, and told me to call any time day or night.
17. I learned what was helpful and what was unhelpful when someone was facing a life crisis.
18. I joined a support group, in which I learn much about prostate cancer and in which I receive support.
19. I am learning to accept my limitations.
20. I have helped other men, which has been rewarding
Stressed? In pain? Take a break with us while we paint a relaxing winter scene with your peers who “get it”. While this is our last art class of 2022, we are coming back strong in 2023! (In fact, you can register here)
Supplies:
Acrylic paints: Blue / Purple / Yellow / White / Brown / Black / Red (or your choice bird color)
Brushes: Flat 3/4in OR similar size; Round size #8 or smaller
AnCan can’t say this enough times … nothing gives us more pleasure than when our Peeps meet up. Our survey last year found that some 35% of our participants make new and lasting friendships outside our groups. That’s our gift to you as well as to ourselves!
Late last month two of our sterling Volunteers met up. Capt. Jim Marshall (USAF) headed south from Alexandria, Virginia to spend a month in Melbourne, Florida, home of our Active Surveillance Prostate Cancr Moderator, Garry Tosca. Here’s what Captain Jim had to say about their lunch meeting:
During my visit down in the Melbourne, FL area in November I got to meet up with fellow AnCan Vet, Garry Tosca and his lovely partner, Trish, for lunch on the edge of the Indian River at the Old Fish House. Both of us are Vietnam Vets where my time was spent in Saigon at Tan Son Nhut Air Base in Computer Operations.
Garry did less than two years in the Army with just enough time to be in the thick of fighting in numerous locations in Vietnam. He is my hero earning the National Defense Service Medal (received by all of us just for joining or drafted & affectionately known as the “pizza stain,”), Vietnam Service Medal with a couple of Bronze Stars for fighting in Campaigns, Republic of Vietnam Campaign Medal and the prized Bronze Star.
Bronze Star Medal — a highly respected military decoration given to service members who distinguish themselves while engaged in action against a foreign force
I do understand his most coveted award is the Combat infantry Mens Badge.
The Combat Infantryman Badge (CIB) is a United States Army military decoration. The badge is awarded to infantrymen and Special Forces soldiers in the rank of Colonel and below, who fought in active ground combat while assigned as members of either an Infantry or Special Forces unit of brigade size or smaller at any time after 6 December 1941.
I did learn something I had never thought about concerning VA Disability Ratings associated with Prostate Cancer (PC). With me and the StageIV Metastatic PC plus Vietnam, it is an automatic 100% Permanently Disabled Rating; a real no brainer with a minimum of paperwork needed. Garry is on Active Surveillance now for a number of years, is also considered 100% Disabled even though he is Gleason = 6(3+3).
It now makes sense for when a Vet is undergoing treatment, he/she is rated at 100% until some kind of resolution either one way or the other. Therefore documenting in excruciating detail all that happens during Active Surveillance can be shown as undergoing treatment, actually “continual treatment“. Hopefully he will stay at 100% Temporarily Disabled for the duration even if his PC never goes beyond Gleason 6.
I want to thank Garry & Trish for being such gracious hosts and when I return in the Spring, hopefully we can get caught up on things.
Just a reminder that AnCan now runs a Veterans’ Health Navigation Support Group, attended by both Jim and Garry and expertly moderated by Capt Joe Gallo (USMC). The group includes a vast amount of experience including administrators and physicians who worked in the VA for decades. It can help with everything from ratings and benefits to treatment. We also have folks using TriCare adn Tricare for Life. Sign up to receive a Reminder at https://ancan.org/contact-us/
We LOVE our Art Friends here at AnCan! Not only do we create beautiful things together, but we take the time to come together as a community. All of our “students” are learning more and more each time, and we use those skills in other classes.
We also truly care about what matters to you. In fact, this art class project was requested by AnCan Art Friend Sharon, who wants to see the northern lights in person. Do you have any ideas for future classes? Just let us know!!
For this class, you’ll need
Paper
Your choice of medium – markers, pen, pencil, colored pencils, paint, watercolor pencils, anything that can mark.
Art Class was back in session with Hannah teaching us about fall trees, including fun add ons to your fall escape like owls, squirrels, and a swing.
Anything goes here! While markers were the main medium, we heard about coffee, soy sauce, and gum as potential art supplies.
You’ll need
Paper
Your choice of medium – markers, pen, pencil, colored pencils, paint, watercolor pencils, anything that can mark.
This art class was also in loving honor of our AnCan art friend, George Degnon, and we are holding his family tightly in our hearts. May his memory always be a blessing.
December’s second meeting of the month hosted a newbie to Speaking Freely but not to our AnCan Groups. Alan Babcock has been attending our prostate cancer groups for a while; he was finally able to vacate his schedule to make a Speaking Freely group. Alan recently retired from a hugely meaningful and rewarding career where he supervised Disability Services for students at Penn State – Go Nittany Lions!! Over the years, his team enabled thousands of disabled students to graduate .
During my visit down in the Melbourne, FL area in November I got to meet up with fellow AnCan Vet, Garry Tosca and his lovely partner, Trish, for lunch on the edge of the Indian River at the Old Fish House. Both of us are Vietnam Vets where my time was spent in Saigon at Tan Son Nhut Air Base in Computer Operations. 
