John-Pierre ‘Jake’ Hannam GRHS …1953-2022
I rarely write in the first person. I make an exception today to eulogize Jake Hannam z”l (the Jewish equivalent of RIP).
Many of you will recognize Jake from the picture above, lying on his bed participating in our virtual meetings. This was largely Jake’s world – literally! I want to fill you in between the lines as to why AnCan and The Reluctant Brotherhood were Jake’s window to the world for the past 8 or 9 years. Jake was intensely agoraphobic – a fear of open spaces. He made no secret of this if you knew him, and occasionally mentioned it publicly in our virtual support groups. Jake was private but not in the least ashamed of his phobia.
For me personally Jake pesonified why I started this virtual endeavor 10 years pre-Covid. I recognized many people could not attend a real location – not only for physical or geographical reasons, but because they had a social disability … like, for example, agoraphobia.
In Jake’s case this was not recent. His wife, Paula, told me it was present when they dated and discussed having kids. She made it clear she wanted these future Hannams to visit the ocean and Disneyland; Jake made it clear those trips would need to be with just their mom. Jake was catholic – he held great relligious faith. So much so, that Jake told me on several occasions that his fear of death was subsumed by his fear of venturing outside his safe zone – and that safe zone shrunk the older he got. He preferred to stay at home on Xmas and Thanksgiving waiting for Paula to bring home leftovers, rather than take the 20 minute ride to his older son, JP’s house. His fear severely compromised Jake’s ability to seek the best treatment for his advanced disease. Because we loved Jake so, it frustrated many of us that a 40 minute drive to Johns Hopkins was never an option; he had to settle for mediocre local care.
I supported Jake from around 2013 (I think) when his cryotherapy failed. He was part of the Inspire UsTOO prostate cancer written forum, then started attending our Reluctant Brotherhood virtual telephone conference calls. Jake and I had our differences over the years. Unlike some of his AnCan brothers, I was smart enough to avoid politics, so Jake and I largely disagreed over treatment choices,and occasonally how I ran AnCan. That said, he never failed to support our effort, even updating a video introduction to AnCan as recently as early December that you can watch here.
Jake was our tech and social media guru. He figured out how to get AnCan on YouTube, Facebook and Twitter, He managed those sites for us, often posting content he sourced. Jake figured out how to record and publish our meetings; and, he was the first to volunteer to learn GoToWebinar to run our webinars. And many of our volunteers came to know Jake through being trained by him on these platforms. If you watched the screen when Mr. H was participating, his icon would go dark every so often for a minute or so. Most of us insiders knew that was Jake having a puff on one of his beloved cigarettes that he never gave up to his dying day. We all loved Jake dearly, even if it was not always kumbaya; he could be grumpy even irascible at times. Jake always discounted his own extensive knowledge about prostate cancer, and chose to be our behind the scenes moderator, making sure the meeting flowed well technically and muting any noisy interlopers..
Jake leaves his wife Paula, and JP and Phil, his two married, super smart boys with PhDs, one of whom travels the world for the World Bank. His first grandchild is expected next month. Jake was immensely proud of both of them, For details of Jake’s family, education and career, you can read his obituary here ; we thank Geoge Rovder for forwarding this to us.
AnCan and The Reluctant Brotherhood plan a joint virtual tribute to Jake Hannam on Sunday, Feb 20 at 6.00 pm Eastern. It will be on the RelBros Zoom platform not ours; we’ll publish a flyer in upcoming Reminders. Our sincere thanks to Peter Kafka and John Tesiberg for arranging this. This is my eulogy, so I doubt I wil take more time on Feb 20th.
And one last, very recent reminiscence to close that expresses a lot. I share this in Phil’s words from an email sent last Saturday, Jan 29, two days before Jake left us:
This is Phil (Jake’s younger son). Dad has been sleeping most of the day owing to the pain medication and hasn’t been able to use the computer since around Jan.14. He is declining more with each day. I offered to read his email today, and in reply to yours, he smiled and said “Onward and Upward” (the most he has said all day!).
Sincere thanks to you and my Dad’s other brothers at AnCan. We will keep you posted.
May Jake’s memory always be a blessing to us at AnCan Foundation and all who knew him.