ASKING FOR HELP …… & that includes the male gender!!

by Rick Davis | Apr 26, 2020 | Health Resources, Advocacy, Blood Cancers, Brain Tumors, Cancer Caregivers, Cancer Resources, Men 'Speaking Freely', Men's Breast Cancer, Multiple Sclerosis, Prostate Cancer, Recent News, Sarcoidosis

Why is it so difficult for men to ask for help?  Perhaps many men view it as a sign of weakness if we can’t handle a challenge on our own.  I have had plenty of occasions to ask myself this question over the past number of years.  In terms of changes in my body and internal mechanisms I have noticed that I can “put up” with many things for long periods of time under the belief that whatever it is that is going on will go away or I will adapt to the changes.  When I think about it now, I realize that this is a pretty stupid approach.  An independent nature can get one in big and unnecessary trouble.

For many months before I was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer, I was symptomatic with urinary retention.  In simple terms, I could not piss.  This is not a normal condition which I knew, but somehow, I talked myself into believing that it was a sign of aging and probably nothing more than an enlarged prostate.  It did not help that my urologist was not very attentive and did not give much more than a passing thought and a prescription for Flowmax for my condition.

After months of pushing on my gut in order to force out small amounts of urine to take the pressure off my bladder, it was a close friend who pushed me to seek medical help.  I did, and as they say; “The rest is history”.  But I went through many months of needless discomfort and agony before I humbled myself enough to seek help.  Was it embarrassment? Arrogance? Independence? Perhaps a bit of all of these that kept me from asking for help.

I mention this because I am still learning thIS great lesson.  In my current regimen of chemotherapy, I have noticed marked changes to my vision.  My first thought (self-diagnosis again) was that it must be cataracts.  Perhaps the chemo was accelerating this “natural” phenomenon that comes with aging for many of us in our 70’s.   But the changes in my vision were substantial and rapid enough that I thought it would be worth mentioning to my medical oncologist during a recent telephone consult.  I included this item in my list of “talking points” which I put together for each and every one of my medical appointments.  It is too easy to forget stuff.  I have learned this the hard way.

The answer came quick.  It was not the chemo; it was the Prednisone.  Sure enough, when I searched out the side effects of Prednisone, the blurry and cloudy vision I experienced was one of them and even at the low dose I was taking.  I inquired about why I needed this steroid, I was told that for some it helped stimulate appetite and energy levels.  With my doctor’s approval I weaned myself off the prednisone and decided that I would try and continue my chemo regimen with out it. 

So, I guess I am still learning the great lesson:  Be your own best advocate and ask for help!