by Rick Davis | Nov 8, 2020 | Cancer Resources, Blood Cancers, Brain Tumors, Cancer Caregivers, Complementary Medicine, Maui, mCRPC, Men 'Speaking Freely', Men's Breast Cancer, nmCRPC, Ovarian Cancer, Prostate Cancer, Recent News, Thyroid Cancer, Women's Breast Cancer
Things don’t always go the way we plan … or want.- from the recent elections to our health, to just taking care of daily biz. We have to be careful how that impacts the way we interact with others. Peter’s thoughts crystalllize how our emotions can impact many more than just us (rd)
“WINNING AND LOSING”
As I sit at my desk, it is Monday morning November 2nd the day before election day. I woke up this morning thinking of this theme and how applicable it is to those of us dealing with a cancer diagnosis. In our case a diagnosis of Prostate Cancer.
For 24 years my final career was as a maintenance supervisor for Haleakala National Park. One of my duties in that position was to be a Heli-Manager. This involved coordinating and managing the ground operations for the periodic use of contract helicopters that we used to transport firewood and other materials to the Park’s historic backcountry cabins. This job had many inherent dangers including hooking up a swivel cable to the belly of a helicopter hovering just a foot or two over my head, loading cargo nets with materials to be sling loaded to the drop sites, calculating the weights of each load, ensuring the safety of myself and that of the rest of my ground crew and communicating by radio to the pilot and others of my crew on the receiving end of the cargo. It was a lot to keep track of, and it required a high level of intensity and concentration.
One Monday morning during this operation one of my employees came to work, and his home state professional football team had lost in the playoffs the day before. He was pretty bummed out. So bummed out that I didn’t take it seriously at first. Afterall, football was just a game in my mind. Life goes on. But in his mind, it was pretty close to the end of the world. I tried my best to get him to “let it go”. But he would not drop his gloomy attitude of defeat. It was so pervasive in him and he would not stop talking about it to the rest of the crew. It was becoming a big distraction and for the safety of our task at hand I had to send him off to do another job on his own far away from our helicopter operations.
I bring up this story because it is all too easy to associate a cancer diagnosis with somehow losing. This can be an insidious and infectious attitude that can not only weigh down ourselves, but those around us including family, friends and even our medical support community. An exaggerated negative attitude and clinging to the feeling that one has “lost” can be a dangerous distraction.
In the bigger picture, we have not lost. Our bodies might be quite challenged due to our diagnosis, but we still have a vital part to play in our family, our workplace, our community and it is NOT to infect all of these others with a bummed-out attitude lest we drive them away, and we quickly will.
Our attitude, like diet and exercise is one of the key things that we have absolute control over. In my own experience if I find myself starting to wake up on the wrong side of the bed, I rearrange the furniture and put THAT side of the bed against the wall so that I have to wake up on the RIGHT side. Bottom line, take responsibility for your own attitude!
by Rick Davis | Oct 22, 2020 | Cancer Resources, Advocacy, AYA, Blood Cancers, Brain Tumors, Cancer Caregivers, Maui, mCRPC, Men 'Speaking Freely', Men's Breast Cancer, nmCRPC, Ovarian Cancer, Prostate Cancer, Recent News, Thyroid Cancer
Sometime over the past month, a man attended one of AnCan’s video chat, virtual support groups with a big problem on his mind. This man had been on hormone therapy – more precisely androgen deprivation therapy, for close to 12 months and he was suffering, physically and mentally from having little or no testosterone in his body. He was fatigued, had “Lupron Brain” – brain fog, and was emotionally on the edge … all the time. Moreover, & understandably, he didn’t want to let his employer and workmates know he lived with advanced cancer. Result ….. he unintentionally upset colleagues, couldn’t complete his work tasks and …. received an offiicial employment warning.
This fellow came to us for support, and the best we could do was to suggest he speak to Human Resources under confidentialty; and/or seek an employment lawyer. What we didn’t know is that there is a non-profit out there to assist … and in their own words, this situation is their bread and butter.
Cancer & Careers is dedicated to tackling cancer-related problems in the workplace. Whether involving healthcare, employment, job seeking, employment law, Covid, or working through treatment – Cancer and Careers will help you resolve any of these issues and more, both one on one and through webinars, handouts, and other educational supplements. Check out their website and don’t hesitate to reach out to them if you have a question that needs answering.
What’s more, Brian Morvant, a senior program coordinator at Cancer & Careers told us just today in a presentation for our Male Breast Cancer Virtual Support Group that Cancer & Careers still offers a maximum grant of $500 per family experiencing financial challenges … apply now!
by Rick Davis | Oct 22, 2020 | Webinars, Advocacy, Blood Cancers, Cancer Caregivers, Cancer Resources, Men's Breast Cancer, Prostate Cancer, Women's Breast Cancer
Leading Experts Discuss Important Cancer Topics
Make sure you’ve signed up for our upcoming
Connect Education Workshops! These free workshops provide the latest cancer information straight from leading experts, via phone or online. At the end of the workshop, you’ll have a chance to ask the experts your own questions.
Register by clicking on the selected link below.
by Rick Davis | Oct 12, 2020 | Advocacy, AYA, Blood Cancers, Cancer Caregivers, Cancer Resources, Men's Breast Cancer, Ovarian Cancer, Recent News, RMC, Thyroid Cancer, Women's Breast Cancer
Alexa Jett has recently connected with AnCan – initially to co-moderate the planned thyroid cancer virtual group we hope to start by year-end. But subsequently her infectious, warm and enthusiastic pesonality opened volunteer opportunities with us. Alexa recently directed The TALK – MS webinar, and she has introduced the Renal Meduallry Carcinoma (RMC) group to us wthat will have its first meeting this ocming week. Now we are working on Adolescent & Young Adult (AYA) opportuities.
Alexa survived recurrent papillary thyroid cancer, most recently in 2019. First diagnosed in 2017, aged 25, Alexa was treated at M.D. Anderson. Whilst there, she refequented Kim’s Place – the AYA retreat where she met one of our RMC moderators, caregiver Charissa Monroe, who lost her husband to RMC.
ESPN published an article this week on how Kim’s Place came to be, and Alexa was interviewed extensively, It was just published on The Undefeated blog and you can read it here:
How the late, great Kim Perrot keeps the Houston Comets’ legacy alive
by Rick Davis | Oct 11, 2020 | hospice and palliative, Advocacy, Blood Cancers, Brain Tumors, Cancer Caregivers, Cancer Resources, Maui, mCRPC, Men 'Speaking Freely', Men's Breast Cancer, Multiple Sclerosis, nmCRPC, Prostate Cancer, Recent News, RMC, Sarcoidosis, Women's Breast Cancer
Our Board President, he prefers this to Chair(!), reflects this week on a conversation many must face!
Recently AnCan in partnership with UsToo initiated a webinar series titled; The Talk. The series focused upon the significance of conversations with family, particularly our children regarding the implications of a diagnosis and treatment for cancer. My younger son Jeffrey and I participated in the panel of the first webinar speaking about the reality of genetic driven prostate cancer and the possibility of passing it on to my children.
Last night I was thinking about another “TALK” which was a big part of my experience this year and one which is often difficult to have. In early May of this year my one sibling, my sister passed away at the age of 78-1/2 years. She was kind of a renegade and a rather unique woman. Her first love and passion was riding motorcycles. When she died, she left 3 bikes in her garage including her 1981 RS -1100 BMW. She began her motorcycle experience way back in the 1950’s as a beatnik in Greenwich Village. Later she made numerous trips to ride in Asia, Europe and all over N. America attending many BMW rallies.
I mention this because as her health declined in her later years, she was quite clear with me about not wanting to prolong her life when she could no longer ride her bikes. She and I had numerous “talks” about end of life issues. She always thought she would “go out” in a fiery crash, but alas it was not to be. She broke her hip and because of many other leg problems it was doubtful that she would be able to walk again. After hip surgery she was moved into a nursing home where she lasted about one week.
Her last couple of weeks she was pretty foggy and incoherent but she and I were able to connect via Face Time a day or two before the end. She knew me, and expressed her wish to get out of the facility and go home. I told her that until she could master a walker she could not do so. She knew that was not to be and I asked her if she was going to go to “Plan B”? She said; “Yes, it would be Plan B”. A day or two later she refused her food and meds and removed her oxygen and facilitated the end of her journey. She knew she lived a remarkable life and lasted beyond her expectations and was ready to depart.
I am very thankful that we made the space to have, The Talk so that we both were prepared for the unexpected. It made the transition so much easier. I guess I bring this up because it is kind of the elephant in the room for all of us and so many ignore this reality and put off The Talk. Most likely very few if any of you who participate in our Low and Intermediate Prostate Cancer Virtual meetings will pass on as a result of this disease, but still the fear tends to lurk in the mind.
