by Rick Davis | Nov 8, 2020 | Cancer Resources, Blood Cancers, Brain Tumors, Cancer Caregivers, Complementary Medicine, Maui, mCRPC, Men 'Speaking Freely', Men's Breast Cancer, nmCRPC, Ovarian Cancer, Prostate Cancer, Recent News, Thyroid Cancer, Women's Breast Cancer
Things don’t always go the way we plan … or want.- from the recent elections to our health, to just taking care of daily biz. We have to be careful how that impacts the way we interact with others. Peter’s thoughts crystalllize how our emotions can impact many more than just us (rd)
“WINNING AND LOSING”
As I sit at my desk, it is Monday morning November 2nd the day before election day. I woke up this morning thinking of this theme and how applicable it is to those of us dealing with a cancer diagnosis. In our case a diagnosis of Prostate Cancer.
For 24 years my final career was as a maintenance supervisor for Haleakala National Park. One of my duties in that position was to be a Heli-Manager. This involved coordinating and managing the ground operations for the periodic use of contract helicopters that we used to transport firewood and other materials to the Park’s historic backcountry cabins. This job had many inherent dangers including hooking up a swivel cable to the belly of a helicopter hovering just a foot or two over my head, loading cargo nets with materials to be sling loaded to the drop sites, calculating the weights of each load, ensuring the safety of myself and that of the rest of my ground crew and communicating by radio to the pilot and others of my crew on the receiving end of the cargo. It was a lot to keep track of, and it required a high level of intensity and concentration.
One Monday morning during this operation one of my employees came to work, and his home state professional football team had lost in the playoffs the day before. He was pretty bummed out. So bummed out that I didn’t take it seriously at first. Afterall, football was just a game in my mind. Life goes on. But in his mind, it was pretty close to the end of the world. I tried my best to get him to “let it go”. But he would not drop his gloomy attitude of defeat. It was so pervasive in him and he would not stop talking about it to the rest of the crew. It was becoming a big distraction and for the safety of our task at hand I had to send him off to do another job on his own far away from our helicopter operations.
I bring up this story because it is all too easy to associate a cancer diagnosis with somehow losing. This can be an insidious and infectious attitude that can not only weigh down ourselves, but those around us including family, friends and even our medical support community. An exaggerated negative attitude and clinging to the feeling that one has “lost” can be a dangerous distraction.
In the bigger picture, we have not lost. Our bodies might be quite challenged due to our diagnosis, but we still have a vital part to play in our family, our workplace, our community and it is NOT to infect all of these others with a bummed-out attitude lest we drive them away, and we quickly will.
Our attitude, like diet and exercise is one of the key things that we have absolute control over. In my own experience if I find myself starting to wake up on the wrong side of the bed, I rearrange the furniture and put THAT side of the bed against the wall so that I have to wake up on the RIGHT side. Bottom line, take responsibility for your own attitude!
by Rick Davis | Oct 22, 2020 | Cancer Resources, Advocacy, AYA, Blood Cancers, Brain Tumors, Cancer Caregivers, Maui, mCRPC, Men 'Speaking Freely', Men's Breast Cancer, nmCRPC, Ovarian Cancer, Prostate Cancer, Recent News, Thyroid Cancer
Sometime over the past month, a man attended one of AnCan’s video chat, virtual support groups with a big problem on his mind. This man had been on hormone therapy – more precisely androgen deprivation therapy, for close to 12 months and he was suffering, physically and mentally from having little or no testosterone in his body. He was fatigued, had “Lupron Brain” – brain fog, and was emotionally on the edge … all the time. Moreover, & understandably, he didn’t want to let his employer and workmates know he lived with advanced cancer. Result ….. he unintentionally upset colleagues, couldn’t complete his work tasks and …. received an offiicial employment warning.
This fellow came to us for support, and the best we could do was to suggest he speak to Human Resources under confidentialty; and/or seek an employment lawyer. What we didn’t know is that there is a non-profit out there to assist … and in their own words, this situation is their bread and butter.
Cancer & Careers is dedicated to tackling cancer-related problems in the workplace. Whether involving healthcare, employment, job seeking, employment law, Covid, or working through treatment – Cancer and Careers will help you resolve any of these issues and more, both one on one and through webinars, handouts, and other educational supplements. Check out their website and don’t hesitate to reach out to them if you have a question that needs answering.
What’s more, Brian Morvant, a senior program coordinator at Cancer & Careers told us just today in a presentation for our Male Breast Cancer Virtual Support Group that Cancer & Careers still offers a maximum grant of $500 per family experiencing financial challenges … apply now!
by Rick Davis | Oct 11, 2020 | hospice and palliative, Advocacy, Blood Cancers, Brain Tumors, Cancer Caregivers, Cancer Resources, Maui, mCRPC, Men 'Speaking Freely', Men's Breast Cancer, Multiple Sclerosis, nmCRPC, Prostate Cancer, Recent News, RMC, Sarcoidosis, Women's Breast Cancer
Our Board President, he prefers this to Chair(!), reflects this week on a conversation many must face!
Recently AnCan in partnership with UsToo initiated a webinar series titled; The Talk. The series focused upon the significance of conversations with family, particularly our children regarding the implications of a diagnosis and treatment for cancer. My younger son Jeffrey and I participated in the panel of the first webinar speaking about the reality of genetic driven prostate cancer and the possibility of passing it on to my children.
Last night I was thinking about another “TALK” which was a big part of my experience this year and one which is often difficult to have. In early May of this year my one sibling, my sister passed away at the age of 78-1/2 years. She was kind of a renegade and a rather unique woman. Her first love and passion was riding motorcycles. When she died, she left 3 bikes in her garage including her 1981 RS -1100 BMW. She began her motorcycle experience way back in the 1950’s as a beatnik in Greenwich Village. Later she made numerous trips to ride in Asia, Europe and all over N. America attending many BMW rallies.
I mention this because as her health declined in her later years, she was quite clear with me about not wanting to prolong her life when she could no longer ride her bikes. She and I had numerous “talks” about end of life issues. She always thought she would “go out” in a fiery crash, but alas it was not to be. She broke her hip and because of many other leg problems it was doubtful that she would be able to walk again. After hip surgery she was moved into a nursing home where she lasted about one week.
Her last couple of weeks she was pretty foggy and incoherent but she and I were able to connect via Face Time a day or two before the end. She knew me, and expressed her wish to get out of the facility and go home. I told her that until she could master a walker she could not do so. She knew that was not to be and I asked her if she was going to go to “Plan B”? She said; “Yes, it would be Plan B”. A day or two later she refused her food and meds and removed her oxygen and facilitated the end of her journey. She knew she lived a remarkable life and lasted beyond her expectations and was ready to depart.
I am very thankful that we made the space to have, The Talk so that we both were prepared for the unexpected. It made the transition so much easier. I guess I bring this up because it is kind of the elephant in the room for all of us and so many ignore this reality and put off The Talk. Most likely very few if any of you who participate in our Low and Intermediate Prostate Cancer Virtual meetings will pass on as a result of this disease, but still the fear tends to lurk in the mind.
by Rick Davis | Aug 23, 2020 | Cancer Resources, Cancer Caregivers, Health Resources, Maui, Men 'Speaking Freely', Prostate Cancer, Recent News
Peter Kafka’s musing this week are born in Maui amd quicky emanate to encompass medical and natural challenges all the way to the mainland. (rd)
Sometimes I feel like I have my hand on a “Mouse” and I am continually zooming in and out, changing perspective on my own issues and those of much larger pictures. I could easily focus in on my own challenges and the fact that our local hospital appears to be in the midst of a second serious Covid-19 outbreak effecting some two dozen patients and an equal number of staff this time around. Normally I would not care too much, but since this is our only community hospital and I need to access it on a regular basis for my own treatment protocol it puts me in an awkward position.
But when I zoom out a bit, I can easily be more concerned about the city and count of Honolulu on Oahu where one of the most rapid and significant increases in Covid-19 infection rates in the US is occurring at present. But then I expand my vision a bit and cross the Pacific and note that the many residents of the Western states, and most particularly California are in the midst of a second serious thereat to life and livelihood, the extreme heat and wildfire season.
Normally I could say that these fires are too far away from me to matter. But a very good friend of mine who I met 4-years ago at UCSF while doing radiation for our respective prostate cancers, lives smack dab in the middle of what is now one of the largest fires in California history. When I spoke to, he and his wife earlier in the week they had reported that their house was standing at that time, but that the fire was igniting some other structures on their property. I don’t have an update, but when I search Google Maps, I can follow their road up the mountain and see that they are indeed surrounded by fire.
I zoom out a bit further and see that we are in the midst of hurricane season, that our country has yet to adequately manage this pandemic and we lead the world in terms of disease and deaths. Then further afield there are many parts of the world suffering from financial ruin and food shortages on top of everything. And then the ultimate click of the mouse greeted me this morning to warn of a 0.5 percent chance of our Earth being hit by an asteroid on the day before election day in November!
All this kind of helps me see that my little struggle with Prostate Cancer is not the center of the universe. I think it is helpful to zoom out to the bigger picture from time to time and keep perspective. One of the reasons I stay so engaged with our AnCan virtual online support meetings is to remember that others have significant issues and concerns that need attention and that I am big enough to step outside and beyond my little world and help another.
by Rick Davis | Aug 19, 2020 | Cancer Resources, Blood Cancers, Maui, Men 'Speaking Freely', Men's Breast Cancer, nmCRPC, Ovarian Cancer, Prostate Cancer, Women's Breast Cancer
One of the video chat, virtual groups our factotum Board Chair, Peter Kafka, moderates, is a men-only, pan-cancer meeting on the island of Maui (& Malakai), where he lives fulltime. His recent reminder for tonight’s meeting makes worrisome reading and includes helpful advice ……
Aloha! ……. once again our local hospital is in the news due to very recent incidents of Covid-19 infections among some patients and staff. I don’t mention this to cause alarm, but rather to caution those of us who must out of necessity use the facilities of the hospital for treatment. I found myself at the hospital for the administration of an injection on the very morning when this “outbreak” was first reported last week. Of course it made me a little uncomfortable, but what to do? Those of us with cancer, and particularly those of us undergoing treatment find ourselves in the “most vulnerable” category when it comes to exposure to Covid-19. I suspect that many of you are paying particular attention to ways that you can stay safe. It turns out that there might be some things we can do.
When I was undergoing chemo infusions every three weeks at the Cancer Center I would don a disposable tyvek painter’s suit that I picked up inexpensively at the hardware store. I would step into this suit in the hospital parking lot and when I was done with my 4 hour protocol I would remove the suit and toss it. This would save me the hassle of thinking I needed to change out of my clothes right away and wash them. Of course it might not have done any good, but it did give me peace of mind that I was taking some kind of additional protection other than wearing a mask and disposable gloves.
Another thing that I read about recently is the benefit of an annual flu vaccine. I think there has been a study or two about the lower incidence of more serious incidence, side effects and death among some European populations who stayed up to date with their annual flu vaccines. I know that Covid-19 is a different beast than the annual flu, but there might be some benefit to keeping up protection to the flu that strengthens our immune system in regards to Covid-19. Don’t quote me on this theory, but since my cancer diagnosis some 6 + years ago I have made it a point to keep up with annual flu shots and pneumonia vaccines since I knew my immune system was compromised. You may have noticed that all the drug stores and supermarkets are now advertising that the “walk in” flu shots are available for this year. No need to see a doctor or clinic.
One of the ways that we tend to let our guard down is by thinking that there is no one that we know of that has caught Covid-19, been sick or in the worst case scenario has died from this disease. I know I have caught myself getting a little careless because of this way of thinking. But I remind myself that one of our regular participants on these bi-monthly calls got caught up in the first Maui Memorial Hospital outbreak last March when he unwittingly had to go to the hospital for treatment related to his cancer diagnosis. He did contract the virus and subsequently died very shortly afterwards.
So, again I am not telling you this to cause alarm. Just take some extra precautions. I am certainly not saying you should stay away from doctors or the hospital. I, myself have to utilize the hospital facilities several times a month and also get blood drawn at a local lab quite frequently. I am not going to skip out on my cancer treatment protocol. But I am going to take whatever steps I can to protect myself.
None of us need feel like we are alone on this journey! Remember that Information is Power and the more information we share about our experience – the more powerful we are and we no longer feel like victims of our circumstance but masters of them instead.
Be Well, Stay Strong and ENJOY!
